Another One of My Babies (Memoirs) is Born

Bottom line: Publishing a book is as difficult as writing one ... marketing it even worse.

I'm holding the original paperback proof copy (galley) of my second published memoir, Barbwire, Brothels and Bombs in the Night: Surviving Vietnam.

My second published memoir, you ask? Yes, and since memories are only "a slice of life,"an author can have more than one!

As was, and still is, true of my first book, there is a load of marketing to be done in order to provide my book the best opportunity to thrive. If you considered writing a book to be one-third of the work, publishing it would be one-third of the work and marketing would be two-thirds of the work! Competition for attention and reader's time are the big hurdles. According to the website Zippia.com, four million books were published in 2022 alone.

My memoirs official launch celebration will occur Thursday, June 8 at 4PM PT via Zoom. Though free, registration is required to attend. You can do that quickly and easily here: https://tinyurl.com/bdd6w6bk.

Rachel S. Thurston, branding coach and marketing consultant (among a number of other talents) at State of Sparkle will interview me, and I'll read excerpts. A Q&A will follow.

As was also true regarding my first book, I'm deeply touched by the wonderful book blurbs I received. Here's an excerpt from Elizabeth Ridley, author, Searching for Celia: "... marks an important and incisive addition to the literature and legacy of the war in Vietnam. In his searing (but ultimately inspiring) memoir, Hogan, who was drafted at age 20, mines his own experience as an Intelligence Analyst to shine a bright light on the dark currents of toxic masculinity, generational trauma, addiction and PTSD that combined to make the conflict in Vietnam America’s most unpopular war, a war from which many never came home, and many more have yet to recover."  

Your support in spreading the news about my book, and any other efforts to increase public awareness, would be greatly appreciated.

Walk in beauty.

Photo Credit: Paul McCaffrey

A Few "Lesser Known and Obscure" Facts I Learned While In Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Bottom line: Not all tequila tastes the same.

During a recent visit to Puerto Vallarta, in Jalisco, Mexico, as a member of the Santa Barbara-Puerto Vallarta Sister Cities 50th Anniversary delegation, I learned a few "lesser known and obscure" facts about the surrounding area, in addition to tequila, mescal and raicilla.

Puerto Vallarta resides on the tenth largest bay in the world, Bahia de Banderas.

The Sister Cities delegation toured sites around PV and visited past projects, renewed relationships, all in celebration of fifty years of friendship.

The mosaic in the PV central park celebrating the Sister Cities relationship.

The park contains many unique mosaic benches

such as these, as well as decorated columns.

Located on the Malecon (boardwalk), this PV dolphin

fountain is much like the one in Santa Barbara.

Don't let the piantwork in the Museum of Art pool confuse you!

(Hint: examine the center of the concentric rings.)

We visited the PV Botanical Garden. Here's the restaurant, which contains a great bar.

The twelve-day Christmas ritual, starting December 1, was in progress during our visit. Group participants walk several blocks to the Temple of Our Lady of Guadalupe, then enter and are blessed.

A portion of the Sister Cities delegation participated in the Christmas pilgrimage.

Dressed as an Aztec, I think she may have been the youngest participant

in the pilgrimage that evening, though I didn't see her march.

(Right to left) Along with Rotary friends E.Russell and Luz Maria,

Janet and I partake in a tequila/mescal/raicilla tasting.

Mescal and Tequila

1. It’s believed that mescal evolved from an fermented Aztec drink.

2. All tequila is mescal, but not all mescal is tequila.

3. Mescal can be made from any type of agave,

4. while, tequila can only be made with blue agave and,

5. under strict guidelines.

6. Tequila’s color and flavor is affected by its aging in oak barrels or vats,

7. which have often been used in prior fermentation of other spirits, such as whiskey, cognac and wine.

8. Blanco, bottled at the end of fermentation, is clear.

9. Reposado “rests” for six months.

10. Anejo is aged for at least one year.

11. Extra Anejo is aged longer than Anejo.

12. Added sugar leads to the creation of methanol.

13. Methanol creates foam when shaken, and burns when a flame is introduced.

14. Manufacturers add sugar to increase volume of product.

15. Tequila is made in five Mexican states,

16. primarily in Jalisco, where the town Tequila is located.

Raicilla

1. It’s history is murky.

2. Perhaps, it’s the precursor of mescal, or just it’s “shadowy” version,

3. as it was being distilled prior to the Spanish conquest,

4. and is referred to roughly as Mexican “moonshine.”

5. Unlike tequila, it is not made with blue agave.

6. It is less well known as mescal and tequila in the US.

7. It has a stronger taste than mescal and a higher alcohol content.

8. You won’t likely find any that has been aged to any degree.

I brought home two bottles of very smooth, slightly sweet Tres Tequila (brand name), suitable for sipping. No need to chase this stuff with salt and lime! (Note: You'll likely need to travel to Puerto Vallarta to find a supply of this, since it's made in limited quantity.)

Walk in beauty.

Normal & Perfect (Wisdom of the 12-Steps)

Bottom line: Let go of negative and unhelpful self-judgment.

I’m not talking about judgements about inappropriate behavior here. I’m talking about the nah, nah, nah and the unreasonable expectations we carry in our heads. I'm talking about the quality of our esteem of self and others.

As a treatment staff member in an adult drug/alcohol residential treatment facility some years ago, I often heard clients say they wanted to be normal, meaning like normal people. I usually responded that normal wasn’t what it's cracked up to be, and they should stay focused on healing themselves and avoid comparing themselves to others. I understood the majority of the general population likely considered themselves normal. But I knew humans aren’t perfect. I knew perfection is an ideal, a concept . . . an illusion. I knew full well the idea of normal was some vague notion of the general collective other, an imagined average of their characteristics, a construct we create in our heads.

Take heart. We’re all fallible humans, warts and all, dealing with life as it unfolds in its unpredictable way, which is beyond our control. We’re left to react to multiple events as best we can, while learning as we go. And that’s okay.

Just as some of us fall into the trap of striving to be normal, that ideal that lives in our heads, we should let go of the notion of achieving perfection.

British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott termed the phrase “good enough mother” in his famous book Playing and Reality. His point being that no mother, nor caregiver or father I’ll add, needs to be, nor likely can be, perfect for their child. And who can determine what is perfect over time, much less in a given moment. It’s a cumulative, on-going process. As long as the mother, or any caregiver, exhibits compassion, caring, empathy, and, most importantly, what we call unconditional love, the child can adapt, experience and learn to deal with challenges in a healthy manner. As well, the growing child needs to face some difficulties to properly develop into a cooperative, socially appropriate individual.

Our collective and individual hope, of course, resides in the fact that we humans are malleable, flexible, and adaptive. We are capable of adjusting, improving, forgiving, and, most importantly, achieving redemption. If the mother can’t provide what’s good enough, then other caregivers, a father, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle . . . or any number of members of the extended family, may be able to fill in the gaps. In a real sense, if a family can be defined as dysfunctional, not all of its members are dysfunctional to the same degree, nor all the time in their interaction to every other member.

Our challenge should be to do the best we can, be willing to fail and learn, be open to communicate, reach out for help, and willing to rely on others. Over time our connections to others will sustain us and allow opportunity to unload our individual burdens by sharing our secrets and expressing ourselves honestly without judgement.

If you don’t have friends or family you with whom you can do that, Twelve-Step meetings are a safe place. So is counseling/therapy. Years ago, I reached out when suicidal thoughts threatened to consume me in undergraduate school.

So, reach out and connect with others. Unburden yourself of your secrets. Learn to trust others. Drop the public mask you hide behind and let down your walls. Learn to love, accept yourself in spite of your warts and imperfections. There are others out there that not only can relate, but who are willing to listen.

I leave you with this: “You don’t need to save me, you just need to hold my hand while I save myself.” Attribution Unknown

Photo Credit - wallpaperaccess.com